While I was reading “Hints to Young
Wives” by Fanny Fern, I could not help but feel that she was generalizing
men. Please note that I do not condemn
her for writing about the imperfections found in her own husband, however, the
warning she gives at the end of the passage made me slightly irritable. When Fern writes, “I dropped the baby (it was
a female, and I thought it just as
well to put her out of future misery) -” it comes across to me as pitiful, and
rather immature in a way.
Granted, as I said earlier, I can
understand the frustration she feels considering the amount of attention that
she gives her husband, even when she is not feeling well. Obviously she has committed herself to this marriage
for several years, and anyone who has been cheated on can easily relate to the devastation
you experience in that particular situation.
What bothers me, however, is how Fern automatically generalizes that all
men are cheating scoundrels. On page
2102, she writes:
“Just as long as a man isn’t quite as sure as if he
knew for certain, whether nothing on earth could ever disturb your affection
for him, he is your humble servant, but the very second he finds out (or thinks
he does) that he has possession of every inch of your heart, and no neutral
territory - he will turn on his heel and march off whistling “Yankee Doodle!””
Clearly the
author is suffering from more than just a broken heart if she truly believes
what she is writing. I have considered
that this piece may be a satire, or a comical view of the situation, but I do
not think that is the case. Everyone is
entitled to their own opinion, but I feel the need to point out that I am a man, and I have never cheated on
anyone in my life. Just sayin’. (But then again, maybe Fern would just say that I am an exception to the rule?)
I, too, dislike Fern's argument that once a lady lets a guy know how much she cares about him, then he will cheat on her. I'm sure that in some cases, this does happen - guys take advantage of a girl's total adoration and devotion. But on the other hand, aren't there guys who, once they know that a girl loves them unconditionally, will be just as devoted?
ReplyDeleteI think you guys are taking this too seriously. While Fern definitely has bitter resentment towards men and it shows in her writing, I think a lot of what she wrote was also hyperbole for the sake of humor.
ReplyDeleteBen, you considered that this may be satire, but said you don't think that's the case. Why not?
I think Fanny Fern was addressing an issue for the time frame in which she wrote and chose to put a humorous spin on it. At that time women were the property of their husband and if the husband thought he had possession and control over his wife he could, perhaps, begin to undervalue her. I believe it is human nature for people (not just men) to take advantage of things that come to easily and desire things you don't currently have.
ReplyDeleteAs for whether Fern intended for this piece to be taken seriously, I kind of believe that she did. Even though she used a comical slant to make her words less offensive, I think she fully intended to use this piece to educate the young, devoted wives of that era.
Like Bennett, I think we ought to realize that Fern is being hyperbolic and satirical. Consider a piece like "A Law More Nice Than Just" or even "A Thanksgiving Story" for more positive depictions of men.
ReplyDelete