It is always tragic to hear about a kid who is bullied so much that they feel that the only escape for them is suicide. Not surprisingly, it is really sad to read about it as well, even if the book is fiction. Oscar is such a sympathetic character because he is ridiculed for being himself. Not for being a jerk or inconsiderate, but for being overweight, nerdy, and not living up to the Dominican male "ideal." While he seems to just let the chiding by basically everyone (even Lola, Beli, and Yunior) slide, it seems to really bottle up inside of Oscar. He does not want to be viewed as a failure in the Dominican sense, as he feels that he could be the only "Dominican male" to die "a virgin" (174). He must have been planning a suicide attempt, because, when Yunior tells him that no, no Dominican male has ever died a virgin, he laments, "That ... is what worries me" (174).
Oscar's suicide attempt does not seem to be spontaneous (or even brought on by the copious amount of alcohol Yunior provides for him), as Yunior clearly states that he knew he "should have stayed with him" that night (189). Needless to say, Yunior was right, as Oscar attempts suicide by jumping off a bridge. However, the key piece of the puzzle is that Oscar actually left suicide notes, proving that Oscar planned to commit suicide. This is a sad realization, brought on by numerous factors. Oscar seems to be directly reacting to his walk-in on the goth Jenny doing the dirty with someone other than him. However, his whole existence kind of culminates in that scene. Oscar, of macho Dominican blood, is, by everyone's standards, a big fat loser.
Yunior later reveals that "The fall after the Fall was dark" for Oscar (200). Oscar wanted to commit suicide again, but "he was afraid" (200). Yunior lists quite a few reasons why Oscar doesn't commit suicide, from his sister to the "possibility of a miracle" (200), but I see it differently. I think that Oscar starts to appreciate life, and how lucky he actually is to be alive. I have never really talked to anyone that has attempted suicide, but it seems to me that a failed attempt at suicide would "wake" an individual up to the glory of living. In fact, Oscar even says that "Nothing is more exhilarating ... than saving yourself by the simple act of waking" (201). Oscar indeed saved himself (for the time being-have yet to finish the book) by awaking from the nasty fall. Even though I know the outcome, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Oscar sees the miracle of life!
I really like the way that you trace Oscar's thought process here and your interpretation of that particular conversation between Oscar and Yunior. I thought that Oscar was just being fatalistic, believing that he would never get a girl before he died. But now I see his fear in a different light: he already knows that he's failed to meet the standards of Dominican masculinity, and he fears that the only way that he sees out (suicide) will seal his fate as a hopelessly defective male.
ReplyDeleteExactly Bethany, Oscar is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Suicide would put an end to his pain here on Earth, but it would cement his legacy as a hopelessly defective male. Either way, Oscar's only chance of being "normal" is to act like the rest of the Dominican males, which is impossible for him right now.
ReplyDeleteI too was struck curiously by Oscar's statement about saving himself through "waking." it is unclear whether he is referring to his suicide attempt or not, but the association seems highly likely. This concept seems initially problematic because it suggests that the "saving" of one's self is a direct result of an attempted suicide. After further examination, though, it is likely that the inner clarity of one's character can surface after a near death experience.
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